


Reimagined

by swanqueengranger



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: A retelling of ME2 with Liara damnit, F/F, Mass Effect 2 AU, multi-chapter, shiara
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-06
Updated: 2019-01-18
Packaged: 2019-06-22 16:00:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15585510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/swanqueengranger/pseuds/swanqueengranger
Summary: A retelling of Mass Effect 2 that includes Liara as a part of the crew. When Shepard is resurrected from death after two years, she and Liara must work their way back to each other while navigating unfamiliar loyalties, saving the galaxy from the Collectors, still being hopelessly in love, and being parents. YES because little blue babies, damnit! This is a Shiara happy ending fic.





	1. Too Soon

**Author's Note:**

> So, I've been thinking about what the story for Mass Effect 2 would be with Liara along and that got me thinking about all the ways the story would change if certain things were tweaked. So, I replayed it and wrote this story as I went. And because I love them so much, I thought what if they were parents before all the stuff went down? (Yes, I know asari control when they get pregnant, but in my mind, Liara was really young when she fell in love with Shepard and I think she spent more time studying than learning what other asari learn around that age). Anyway, if that's not your thing, best to click away now, cause there's a little blue baby in this retelling. This is a multi chapter story, but I don't know how to get it to say that until I put the second chapter up. Just a heads up!
> 
> I do not own Mass Effect or any of the characters or the storyline of Mass Effect 2. Bioware and EA own those things. I make no money off of this. I just get to give these lovely folks a family.

White light.

Blinding and sudden.

It was different from the darkness that had been before, and it hurt like hell.

Was this what Ashley had spoken about? The white light at the end of your life. Was she dead?

She supposed she could be. The last thing she remembered was being spaced and watching the Normandy explode.

She _could_ be dead.  That could explain the light.

“Oh my god, Miranda…”

Were their supposed to be voices? Did Ashley ever say? It was supposed to be peaceful wasn’t it? Surely there wasn’t supposed to be so much pain.

 _No_ , she couldn’t be dead. No matter how bad the situation, pain meant that you were still alive to feel it.

So, the Alliance had come for them in time like she had told Liara they would. They’d saved them.

Now if she could just get to the light.

”I think she’s waking up…”

She wanted to scream when a pale hand moved in front of her eyes and white hot agony seared through her, but her mouth would not work to make a sound.

She couldn’t speak. Why couldn’t she speak?!

“Take it easy, Shepard. Try not to move.”

A dark haired woman thrust her way into her field of vision; a surprisingly tender grip forcing the pale white hand back down.

White hot pain raced through her again at the movement. 

“It’s not working. Her vitals are spiking.”

“She’s panicking. Give her another dose of the sedative.”

Crystal blue eyes found her own once more.

“Shepard, I need you to calm down. You’re ok, but you’re going to hurt yourself. Calm down. Can you do that for me?”

Her voice was soft but commanding and Shepard fought to listen to it as her mind raced to assess the situation. Whatever had happened, this woman was clearly in charge, knew who she was, and said she was ok.

“Take a deep breath.”

She could feel the bone deep warmth of sleep slowly chasing the pain away, but she fought to resist its pull. Everything in her wanted to stay awake and away from the darkness, but it crept up her muscles with the near overwhelming invitation to give in to the peace awaiting.

It was like that time Mom draped that blanket over her when she caught her past bedtime determined to watch the stars from the hammock.

Or when Liara wrapped her arms around her that last night when she had stayed up too late working and had nodded off sitting at her console.

“Her heart rate’s dropping. Vitals returning to normal.”

The dark haired woman smiled. “That’s it, Commander. You’re ok. Take a deep breath.” 

Shepard focused on her voice, heavily accented in a way she couldn’t process, and tried to follow orders.

Her chest was heavy as she fought to draw in a slow, deep breath. They’d taught her about breathing techniques to control the panic attacks after Mindoir.

In and out.

She remembered how th…

Heavy eyes blinked slowly and the thought slid effortlessly from her mind.

Soft laughter filtered through her ears and Shepard turned her head to desperately follow the sound. With a slow blink of her eyes, the dim lighting of her cabin replaced the blinding white and Liara swam into view. Her dark lips were turned up in a shy smile.

_You need to get some rest, Commander._

_Who says I’m tired? I’d rather just lay here and look at you._

_Shepard._

Liara’s soft exhalation lilted through her head once more even as her vision swam back to the white light above her.

_I promise I’ll be here when you wake up._

She could feel the soft caress of the warm hand against her own cold one and a sense of peace enveloped her as she stared up into the blue eyes staring down at her.

Liara?

No. _Not_ Liara.

The Normandy …

Wishing she could control the sluggish thoughts sloughing in and out of her consciousness, she blinked heavy and slow once more.

She registered the faint protest as the dark haired woman rounded on whomever else was in the room and tore the blue away from her field of vision.

She wanted just one more glimpse of Liara’s blue eyes.

“Damnit, Wilson. I knew your numbers were off. Run them again. I want to know exactly how this happened.”

Shepard fought to command her eyes to remain open even as they slipped closed against the white light again.

_I’ll be here._

A lone tear danced a slow track down her cheek as she struggled to keep Liara's soft voice close.

Just one more glimpse.

With one final push against the inevitable, Jane Shepard succumbed to darkness once more.


	2. Cerberus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's chapter 2! This is obviously skipping the battle on the station when Shepard wakes up. I debated on doing an actual scene by scene retelling, but decided to do important scenes and inserted scenes instead. We all know the story of ME2 and this way's just more open for me to tell the story I'm trying to tell. That being said, I did borrow some language directly from the game here, but I won't be doing that a crazy amount. I do not own the game, Bioware and EA do. I just get to turn it into an angst-filled Shiara fest.
> 
> Notes on some liberties with Shepard - she was in the Alliance during Mindoir and also served at the Skyllian Blitz. More on that in a future chapter.

Dead.

She had been _dead_?

Her gut felt like lead as the turbulence bounced her back against the seat. She could tell that Miranda and Jacob were carrying on a heated conversation of their own, but she couldn't care. Her mind was racing to try to piece together what little information they had given her during the situation they had just escaped.

They had fought to help her survive on the rapidly collapsing base, but what she knew of them meant she sure as hell couldn’t trust them.

_Cerberus._

So, Cerberus had found her after the attack on the Normandy and not the Alliance.  Had they even came for her? Had they tried to recover her body?

_Where is everyone?_

“Look, Miranda, I fought beside her, I’m telling you that it’s fine. You did it. It’s really Shepard.”

Jacob Taylor had said… had she really been _dead_? Was that even possible?

_No. There’s no science that can bring back the dead._

“Listen to me, I spent too long making sure this is right, I’ll be damned if I let…”

Their voices faded once more as Shepard stared into the inky blackness of the viewport and fought the niggling feeling in the pit of her stomach down. It couldn’t possibly be true, no matter how sincere Taylor had seemed or how convincing Lawson had been.

_Dead?_

How could she trust that? What happened to the crew of the Normandy? Did they know what happened to her?

_Where’s Liara?_

A pang of longing raced through her chest at the thought of the asari and she swallowed hard.

_Maybe this is a dream and she’ll elbow me awake at any second._

Even as the thought crossed her mind, Shepard shook it free. The shuttle gave another lunge of turbulence and she was shifted hard back against her chair. This was too real to be a dream.

Too real to even be a nightmare.

_Think, Shepard. This is Cerberus. It’s more likely that they’re lying and I’m a prisoner. Something went wrong on that station. If they were attacked, it may have been the Alliance._

Miranda Lawson’s hard voice sliced through her thoughts and Shepard closed her eyes against it.

“I’m in charge of the Lazarus Project, Operative Taylor. If you don’t like the way I’m running things, I can always have you reassigned.”

 _No_.

What they said couldn’t be true. She had _just_ seen Liara. She had just watched her smile as she fell asleep.

_They’re lying to me._

A spark of anger flared to life as she chanced a glance at the other occupants of the shuttle. Their argument seemed to be quickly becoming one sided. With a huff, Taylor leaned back heavily and crossed his arms as Lawson leaned further in, whispering dark words.

The woman had been there when she had woken up before and she hadn’t been anything like this then. She had been protective… _comforting_ even.

_Another act?_

Thoughts raced through her mind as she watched the dressing down taking place. She had done the same thing enough times to know it. Lawson was clearly in charge of the situation, and she had a fleeting memory of that feeling from waking up earlier, but what had she been waking up from?

Had Cerberus attacked the Normandy and taken her from the wreckage? That could explain why the Alliance hadn’t picked her up. But, if that was the case… what had they done with her crew?

Shepard felt the anger rise in her throat as she turned fully to watch the two people across from her. It would keep her focused, but it couldn’t help her right now. With a calming breath, she eased back into her chair, silenced the thoughts in her head, and leaned on years of training.

If they had taken her from the attack site, the Alliance may think her dead.

That meant she had to get word to them as soon as she could. Cerberus had had her for who knows how long and anything they told her was likely a tactic meant to throw her off base and leave her vulnerable to whatever they were planning. They had something to gain from what they were doing to her now.

She’d need to play along to see what that was and to buy herself time to get word to the Alliance.

“Commander? Can you hear me?”

Shepard raised her eyes to the woman once more. Schooling her features was a task she had spent years cultivating as an Alliance officer and her N7 training had prepared her for a multitude of hostage situations.

“Obviously. I’m sitting right here.”

The anger that had been clearly evident on Miranda Lawson’s face moments before dropped away in an instant. She leaned back slowly in her chair as her features slid closed, but her eyes never left Shepard’s face.

“Yes, you are. Given how much it took to make that happen, why don’t you drop the attitude? Cerberus didn’t spend billions of credits nursing you back to life so you could be a petulant child at the first chance.”

Shepard stared defiantly back at her.

Recognizing an equal was necessary in a life or death situation. When subterfuge was intrinsically involved, it was imperative that she showed no sign of weakness or let on that she knew the game.  Besides, she had watched this woman shoot a man she had worked with for years without as much as a second thought.

_She’s dangerous. I need to watch myself around her._

Silence hung in the air momentarily as each woman sized the other up.

Shepard felt the small tick in her left eye that was always an indicator that her temper was about to spill over. She leaned back slowly to diffuse the opportunity.

When the silence seemed as if it would stretch to a snapping point, Jacob Taylor cleared his throat nervously and the spell was instantly broken.

Miranda schooled her features once more and smiled. When she leaned back and crossed her legs, it was as if the stand-off hadn’t happened.

“Before you meet with the Illusive Man, we need to ask a few questions to evaluate your condition.”

She turned an expectant look towards Jacob Taylor and he sighed.

_Here we go. They want to know what I’m willing to divulge._

“Come on, Miranda. Shepard took down those mechs without any trouble. That’s got to be enough for you.”

The woman spared him a frosty look. “It’s been two years since the attack. The Illusive Man needs to know that Shepard’s personality and memories are intact. Ask the questions, Mr. Taylor.”

The words doused her fire with a wave of cold and Shepard fought to contain the gasp that rose in her throat.

Two years?

Once again, the niggling feeling rose in her chest. They couldn’t possibly be telling her the truth… _could they_?

“Did you say two years? I’ve been gone that long?”

Jacob loosed another sigh and sent an apologetic glance across to her. “Two years and twelve days. You were on an operating table for most of it.”

He quickly rose a brow towards Miranda and Shepard glanced her way. The woman’s features were smooth once more, but she was looking at Shepard with interest.

_Is that what I was waking up from?_

_No. No, that’s not possible._

Shepard fought to maintain the anger burning in her chest as she stared at the raven haired woman. For a brief moment, a flicker of what looked like sympathy shone in her eyes once more and then she turned to address Taylor.

“The sooner we start, the sooner we can be done. Start with personal history.”

A curt nod was Taylor’s only response as he brought up the omnitool strapped to his wrist.

“Records show you were born in space. Tough environment, parents both serving in the Alliance. You lost your father when you were young.”

There was a question in that statement somewhere and the man paused and turned dark eyes towards her. The callous mention of her father’s death made her hands clench involuntarily, but the man dropped his eyes once more and kept going before she could respond.

“You enlisted in the Alliance when you were 18. Less than a year out, you were sent to Mindoir when the Batarians attacked, but your squad couldn’t get to the colonists. Do you remember that?”

Shepard took a slow breath and swallowed the dryness in her throat down. They weren’t going to break her by bringing up her past. She had fought long and hard to control the nightmares that had awoken her for years after that.

Her eyes were cold when she locked onto his gaze.

“Pick another topic.”

She could feel Miranda Lawson scrutinizing her as she stared at Taylor, but she refused to give her the satisfaction of a further reaction.

Taylor spared her a small, frozen glance before he dropped his eyes back to his omni tool.

“Ok. Let’s ... skip Elysium then.” 

His eyes found hers again for a fleeting moment as he scrolled quickly through the words on his omni tool.

“Here we go. Shepard, think back to the Citadel after the Alliance saved the Destiny Ascension and you killed Saren. What happened next?”

A multitude of thoughts ran through her head as she tried to work out why this information was important. When no angle jumped out, she shook her head. “Humanity was offered a spot on the council. I recommended Ambassador Udina for the position.”

Miranda nodded her head and smiled. “Yes, Ambassador Udina is now Councilor Udina. He’s done an admirable job of representing humanity’s interests.”

“Ok, Miranda, her memory is fine. Satisfied?”

Miranda didn’t spare Jacob a look at his outburst. Instead, she merely continued to stare at Shepard.

With a small shift against her harness, Shepard stared unemotionally back at her.

Another pocket of turbulence shoved them all against their harnesses briefly, but the woman’s blue eyes merely continued to pierce her own in question.

Finally, she raised an eyebrow. “I have one more question for you, Commander. You tracked Saren to a planet called Virmire.”

Instantly, Shepard felt her fist clench against her thigh once more.  

“You destroyed Saren’s cloning facility there, but you had to leave one of your squad behind to die in the blast. It was your call. What did you choose?”

Hatred and guilt boiled in her stomach as Shepard fought to look anywhere but at the cool, expectant features of the woman before her. It was a hard internal fight to school her reaction, but Shepard swallowed once more and returned her gaze.

“Being in command means that sometimes you give orders knowing your people are going to die. It can’t affect your decisions. I left a friend to die that day and it wasn’t easy. Kaiden Alenko gave his life to save the rest of the team. Without him, I couldn’t have stopped Saren. He died a hero.”

Jacob shook his head quickly and pressed forward with his hands raised. “We understand, Commander and we aren’t questioning your decision. Everyone at Cerberus knows that that cloning facility needed to be destroyed.”

Miranda watched silently for a few moments more. Shepard held her gaze and briefly she thought she caught that same glimpse of remorse in her blue eyes. Before she could be sure, the woman nodded and leaned back.

“Your memory seems solid. There are more tests we really should run…”

Jacob Taylor spread his hands wide and huffed. “Come on, Miranda. Enough with the tests. The memories are there, and I can vouch for Shepard’s combat skills personally.”

With a deep sigh, Miranda turned to scrutinize her once more. She could see the debate warring on her face before she shook her head in finality. “I suppose you’re right. We’ll just have to hope that the Illusive Man accepts our little field tests as evidence enough.” 

Shepard felt the small pressurized shift that signified a drop from FTL and Miranda turned her attention quickly to the porthole.

“We’re here anyway.”

As Shepard turned to take in the massive Cerberus base slowly filling the porthole’s view, Miranda Lawson unbuckled her safety harness and was already moving towards the front of the shuttle. Shepard watched her tear open the side hatch before the ship even shuddered to a halt.

“You’ll meet with the Illusive Man here, Shepard. Try to be a little respectful to the person who poured unlimited funds into bringing you back.”

Without another word, she dropped out of the side of the shuttle as Jacob Taylor finished unlatching his safety harness. As he stood slowly over her, an apologetic look overtook his features and he shrugged.

“Welcome to Cerberus, Commander.”

Shepard spared him a brief glance as she tore off the safety harness and strode towards the door. She could hear the man trotting behind her as she ducked beneath the open hatch and dropped down after Miranda. The room before her was clearly the inside of a large docking area. Rows of chairs waited to one side and labs branched out from the other. She didn’t need the view of space from the far side of the room to know they were on the very outskirts of an enormous base.

She stepped forward slowly as she took the surroundings in and tried to discern exactly where it was they were.  

Miranda Lawson was already at a console, fingers dancing over the keys. “The Illusive Man is waiting for you in the other room, Commander.”

Shepard stared at her as Jacob Taylor dropped down behind her and quickly pushed his way passed. When he strode slowly to the large windows without comment, her eyes darted to see as far as possible into the other rooms. For a moment, the only sound was Miranda’s fingers against the haptic interface. There didn’t seem to be any other soldiers about and these two were clearly not worried that they had left her armed with a pistol.

Shepard took another tentative step further into the room as Miranda Lawson glanced towards her. With a nod of her head towards the back wall, she dropped her attention back to the interface. “Take those stairs down, Shepard. Don’t keep him waiting.”

As she walked briskly towards the way that Miranda had pointed her, Shepard couldn’t help but feel uneasy.

Something wasn’t right.

This wasn’t the way one would behave if she were a hostage and they were sending her _armed_ to meet with the leader of their organization. Maybe they thought she couldn’t go anywhere? Maybe there were armed soldiers waiting for her at the bottom of the stairs?

She paused at the top of the stairs and turned one last glance towards the two behind her, but neither were looking her way.

With one last slow breath, she ducked down and took the stairs as quietly as possible. Her hand twitched as she loosened it near where her pistol was holstered. She’d be able to draw on any soldier who was unaware of her exact proximity.

As she neared the last step, her eyes began a quick sweep of the room she was entering. When they merely fell over an empty room with a lighted raised dais, she relaxed. She had expected to meet with the Illusive Man face to face, but she should have known it would never have been that easy.

Her eyes swept the walls of the room as she stepped forward, but she could discern no doorway. There were no monitors or stations to interface with.  There was just the dais.

With an impatient sigh, Shepard stepped toward the raised platform. For a moment, she merely stood there feeling slightly ridiculous and then her entire body was suddenly encased in a bright orange light. She spun slowly as it scanned her from all angles, and before she could step back down, the room was she was standing in fell away.

He sat easily in a single chair, surrounded by monitors that took up one wall of the large room he occupied. A cigarette dangled loosely in his hand. He took an easy drag from it, ran a hand down his face, and smiled.

“Commander Shepard.”

Shepard took a steadying breath as she stared at the head of the Alliance’s greatest traitors. “Illusive Man. I thought we’d be meeting face to face.”

He smiled once more and leaned further back into the shadows. He had never revealed his appearance to anyone, she knew. All of the Alliance’s intelligence could only guess at his identity.

“A necessary precaution. Not unusual for people who know what you and I know.”

Shepard eased back on her left foot, arms crossed loosely in front of her. Whatever they were up to, he’d spill it. Alliance analysis said he was too narcissistic to keep his plans to himself.

“And what exactly is it that you and I know?”

“That our place in the universe is more fragile than we’d like to think.”

He took another long draw from his cigarette and leaned forward. Shepard saw his features easily and fought to keep her reaction neutral.

“That one woman - one very _specific_ woman – might be all that stands between humanity and the greatest threat of our brief existence.”

Shepard’s arms loosened immediately at the implication.

“The Reapers.”

The Illusive Man nodded slowly and leaned back once more. “Good to see your memory is still intact. How are you feeling?”

She could feel the scoff bubble up before she could stop it. “Cut to the chase. What are the Reapers doing that made you decide to bring me here?”

Another long pull on his cigarette was his only movement.

“Not just _here_ , Shepard. _Back_. I’m sure you don’t believe that you were really killed in action or that we of all people brought you back from the dead, but I can assure you that it’s true.”

She studied his face but found nothing to give away what he was thinking. Her words were hard, but a bit hopeful, when she spat them towards him.

“There is no science that can bring back the dead.”

He flicked the ash from his cigarette easily and nodded.

“No, there isn’t. Not if the brain isn’t intact. Lucky for us, yours _was_. Miranda Lawson spent two years rebuilding your body and I spared no expense in making sure you were returned to life, Commander.”

Shepard swallowed hard at the ease of his words. He gave no visible tells that he was lying.

“Don’t just take my word for it. I’ll grant you full access to Project Lazarus’ files. That’s the name of the project that Operative Lawson was heading up. It’s the one that brought you back.”

A brief flicker of panic squeezed her chest and Shepard crossed her arms once more. If they were telling the truth… if she wasn’t a prisoner…

“Why me?”

The Illusive Man leaned forward and the light from the view screen behind him cast him into shadows once more. “We’re at war. No one wants to admit it, but humanity is under attack.”

With a small push from his chair he was moving. Shepard kept her breathing even as he strode to a halt in front of her. His full features were on display and the implication of the action was not lost on her.

“While you’ve been sleeping, entire colonies have been disappearing. Human colonies. We believe it’s someone working for the Reapers just as Saren and the geth aided Sovereign. You’ve seen it yourself, Shepard and you bested all of them. That’s just one reason we chose you.”

The simplicity of his words clawed at her skin and reignited the niggling feeling in the back of her mind that had been trying to get her attention since she hadn’t awoken to alarms. The mysterious leader of the Alliance’s greatest enemy was standing in full view of one of their commanding officers and he made no attempt to hide his face.

The information of the past few hours raced through her mind as she stared at his open stance.

_Gods. Are they telling the truth?_

As the thought crossed her mind, she pushed it out immediately. With a roll of her neck, she wet her lips and shifted her weight. She was an Alliance officer and she still had information to discover. She’d be damned if she was going to fall for this so easily.

“Fighting a war doesn’t seem like Cerberus. Why are you involved?”

He smiled at her easily. “We’re committed to the advancement and preservation of humanity. The Alliance isn’t moving to do anything to stop the colonies from being taken. We are. If the Reapers are targeting humanity and trying to wipe us out, Cerberus is going to stop them.”

He turned slightly to stare out the view screen beside him before he spoke again. “Besides, the Alliance doesn’t even admit that the Reapers exist, Commander. You knew that before you were attacked. If we wait for politicians or the Alliance to act, no more human colonies will exist.”

The hairs on the back of her neck raised slightly and Shepard recognized it immediately. She kept her features calm as she fought to ignore it. It was her tell – something dangerous was coming.

“Speaking of that attack on the Normandy. I assume you’ll tell me that Cerberus had nothing to do with that?”

The Illusive Man turned and took his seat easily once more. He was draped in shadows again, but she could see his blue eyes lit by the drag of his cigarette.

“We had nothing to do with that, Commander, but I think you already know that. Your pilot said you’d never seen a ship like the one that attacked you.”

Joker’s screams from that day echoed through her head as she stared at him. How the hell he knew that was just another question to which she intended to find the answer. She stared hard at him momentarily as the last conversation she had with her helmsman replayed in her head. She _had_ never seen a ship like the one from that day before and it had torn through the Normandy’s defenses like they weren’t even there.

Her N7 training screamed at her as she let everything filter through her thoughts. 

The mystery ship. 

The feeling in her gut that kept telling her to listen. 

She knew that the likelihood that Cerberus was holding her hostage was high and it easily fit with everything she knew about them…

...but she also knew the Reapers were real and no matter what she had done to get Alliance brass and the Council to listen to her… they had refused.

With a deep breath, Shepard felt her heart rate pick up and her mind settle. She had trusted one specific piece of her training and her gut many times during her career.

Sometimes, no matter how much you may not want to believe it, the truth is often the easiest explanation.

_If I really was almost dead… and it really has been two years… Gods, if the Alliance still isn’t working to stop the Reapers...._

“Ok, let’s say for a second that I believe you. Sovereign was trying to harvest all life in the galaxy. Why would the Reapers target a few human colonies?”

“Hundreds of thousands of colonists have vanished, Shepard. I’d say that fits the definition of _harvesting_.”

Her blood ran cold at the number.

_How could the Alliance be doing nothing?_

_This can’t be true._

_Can it?_

He leaned forward once more and his voice broke her thoughts as if he had been reading them.

“Nobody’s paying attention because it’s random and the attacks occur in remote locations. I can’t give you every answer you want, Shepard. I don’t know why they’ve suddenly targeted humanity. Maybe you got their attention when you killed one of them.”

She looked up angrily as his words tore against the loyalty the Alliance had honed in her for years.

“No. If this is a threat against humanity, then you need to mobilize the Alliance.”

He scoffed as he leaned back in his chair, his anger flaring as easily as hers had.

“The Alliance is swamped by the responsibility _you_ gave them. They’re too busy building relations to put resources into verifying the Reaper threat. Blaming the abductions on mercenaries and pirates is easier. And more convenient. If they can push off what’s happening and ignore it … they will.”

She could feel her heartrate slow as his words did.

She knew it was true.

She had begged the Council to listen; had begged the Alliance to hear what she was saying about the Reapers. They had banished her to the Terminus systems to catch geth instead. 

Her arms cinched tightly across her chest once more and she stared at the floor in thought.

 “You could have trained an entire army a couple times over for what you spent to bring me back. Why bother?”

Another slow pull of his cigarette was his immediate response. “You’re right. I could have. But let’s face it, Shepard, you’re unique.” 

As she raised her gaze to his once more, he waved off her objection before she could even voice it. “No, not in ability or what you’ve experienced, but in what you represent. You stood for humanity in a key moment. You’re more than a soldier. You’re a symbol.”

She stared at him as he drew a deep breath and shook his head. “I don’t know if the Reapers understand fear, but you killed one of them. They have to respect that.”

She could hear her heart pounding in her ears as he took another draw from his cigarette.

If it was true… if any of this was true…

She could find out easily enough and act accordingly if he was lying.

But there were still questions to be answered…still things that didn’t make sense.

She was an Alliance officer and working with Cerberus was something she’d never consider, but, if the Reapers _were_ behind this…

With a slow, steadying breath, she nodded. “Fine. If what you say is true, I’ll consider helping you. But you have to back off and let me find that out for myself.”

The Illusive Man laughed softly as he nodded. When he looked up again, his blue eyes were bright. “I’d be disappointed if you accepted any of this without seeing it for yourself, Shepard. I have a shuttle ready to take you to Freedom’s Progress, the latest colony to be abducted. Miranda and Jacob will brief you.”

He reached for a console near him and she knew he meant to sever their connection.

“Wait just a second. Lawson killed Wilson in cold blood and Taylor’s a gun for hire. You expect me to just trust them?”

Her words seemed to have touched a nerve by the way his jaw twitched. His voice was hard and his eyes cold when he spoke.

“Miranda Lawson has saved your life in more ways than one. She did exactly what I expected her to do when faced with a traitor.”

He paused to let the words and implication sink in.

So, they didn’t trust each other it seemed.                 

_Good._

“Jacob Taylor is a soldier and a damn good one. He’s never trusted me, but he’s always been honest about it. You’ll be just fine with them for now.”

She swallowed against the traitorous feeling in her gut as she stared at him. “So, I’m just volunteered for this particular assignment then?”

He shook his head quickly and flicked the ashes of his cigarette once more. “You always have a choice, Shepard. If you don’t find the evidence we’re both looking for, we can part ways. But, I expect you’re going to want to know for yourself. Go to Freedom’s Progress and see what you can find. Who’s abducting the colonists? What’s their connection to the Reapers?”

He leaned to his right and touched the console beside him.

“I brought you back. It’s up to you to do the rest.”

The connection severed and Shepard was left staring at the empty walls of the small room once more. With a deep breath, she ran a hand over the hairs still prickling at the base of her neck and turned to take the stairs two at a time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Up next - Tali! A confirmation from a friend makes Shepard see that Cerberus is telling her the truth and forces her to confront the reality that everything she held close is suddenly gone._


	3. Author’s note

This isn‘t an actual chapter. That IS coming. This is just an explanation and apology to anyone reading or following this story. I started this story after losing my dog of 13 years. He was my best buddy and writing helped me keep emotions at bay. Then, two weeks after the second chapter was published, I lost my cat of 19 years. I had literally had her since I was a teenager in college. 

After that, things just got to me. I was overwhelmed and depressed and writing was the farthest thing from my mind. 

Our last dog began howling because she was now alone after a few months so we adopted a scared and shivering red haired stray that we aptly named Shepard. She now runs the house. 

It has been a hard six months, but I am once again writing. I keep jotting chapters and ideas in my notes on my phone, so I’ve been sorting and rewriting things. Thank you for being patient and understanding with me. Much love to everyone. 

Tali is coming soon.


	4. Freedom’s Progress

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shepard sees firsthand what’s happening on Freedom’s Progress and runs into an old friend who confirms everything she’s been denying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who has been reading and who has been so patient with me. The past few months have been incredibly hard. I appreciate the support and messages. So much love to you all.
> 
> Let me give some background on my Shepard here as her history is going to start playing a part in her actions. I have taken some liberties with Shepard’s backstory because I think a few of the different stories for her are very intriguing and serve to round her character out though you can’t really choose them the way I want them. Nothing major, but she is 2 years older in this story. She joined the Alliance at 18 and it was _her_ squad that was sent to Mindoir, not her mother’s.
> 
> That’s where she developed the PTSD that she’s fighting with in this story. That feeling of helplessness is one she despises and the one that causes her to carry the heavy guilt we see in canon for those she can’t save. It also ensures that she pushes far beyond when others would give up on a mission - no matter how hopeless it may seem.
> 
> That’s what led her 6 years later to hold the line on Elysium at the Skyllian Blitz. She has a very heavily complicated history with the Batarians that she has spent years working through. She knows the Batarians probably better than anyone and Hackett knows he needs her to get the Alliance’s undercover operative out alive at the end of Mass Effect 2, which means that the action she takes to stop the Reapers from coming then is much more heavily weighed from all sides.

It was too quiet and that said a lot. 

She was used to the silence of the battlefield after a hard fought push.

But this? This was different. The silence was eerie in a way that was unsettling to the core. 

Eerie in a way that she hadn’t experienced for a while.

Not since Mindoir.

Shepard eased her body flat against the wall of what appeared to be a laboratory of some kind and tossed a glance towards Jacob. The man was gripping his weapon loosely in his hands, the telltale sign of a trained soldier, as he peered around the corner. 

Before they had landed, he had said there had been nothing at any of the other colonies they had searched.

_“No sign of attack. No corpses. Not even a trace of unusual genetic material to give us a clue. They just disappear and we’ve got no target to go after.”_

She had no reason to distrust that information, but she had informed them in no uncertain terms that they weren’t going to go into an unknown situation without clearing every room as if an attack was imminent. Years of training and near misses in battle had seen to that necessity. 

Miranda and Jacob had taken her orders to be on the look out for threats and survivors without argument, but they hadn’t seemed to be too deeply invested in the precautions she insisted upon. When the first few mechs had attacked them, that had changed immediately. 

To her left, Jacob nodded his head once and Miranda Lawson strolled into the cleared room at the ready. Her footsteps were light, but they echoed in the silence.

Shepard eased off of the wall and tossed a quick look to the rear of their path before she followed the two into what appeared to be a dwelling. 

Nothing seemed out of place as she inched further into the room. A filled mug was still on the table next to a data pad. Shoes were in the corner, neatly arranged and untouched. Food was still on the plate in the middle of the table.

It was like she was trespassing in someone’s home and they’d be back any moment.

_“They just disappear.”_

A shiver of memory raced down her spine at the thought and she shook her head quickly in an attempt to dispel it. 

She had been much younger; a much greener and more optimistic soldier when the horrors of Mindoir had happened. She had known loss before; had seen death and experienced the way people could just stop existing in a moment’s notice. 

Still, nothing in her training or life had prepared her for Mindoir. 

It had been the first time she had ever felt oppressive silence pressing in on her. She had experienced the noise of a farming colony before. She knew the raucous sounds of life that were supposed to permeate the surroundings.

When her squad had landed to push the Batarians out, sounds of life had been replaced by sounds of agony. In the hours after they had landed, there had been screaming, gunfire, and torment.

They pushed every way they could, but the Batarians had been too entrenched. They could only watch and fire from afar as the colonists were slaughtered. Batarian slavers laughed as they brutalized the survivors and the horrors they were witness to seemed to overpower their training. Those who refused to fall back were picked off one by one.

She could still remember clearly the sound of her own breathing filling her ears as she was dragged back to stand amongst the bodies of soldiers and civilians alike. Even when she had leaned on her military training and slowed its pace, it was still too loud. 

She had felt the silence pressing in on her from all sides that night. She had strained against it; hoping against hope to hear one sound of a survivor as the Batarians swept away. The remaining soldiers in her unit said nothing after they got word that the Alliance was moving to intercept.

There had been only silence as they stood vigil over those they had failed to reach.

It was the same kind of silence that she experienced on Elysium after the breach.

It was the same kind of silence that she had encountered on Eden Prime.

It was the kind of silence that greeted her now. 

Shepard sighed as she focused on the steaming mug in front of her. Years of experience had hardened and changed her. A command of her own had changed the way she had to look at a loss of life, but she could easily see how the threads of history repeated. Suddenly, the divide between the soldier she was now and the one that had been so full of exuberance for experience yawned before her.

A vision of Jenkins’ excited demeanor slid to mind. 

“Nothing yet again. Damn it.”

The frustration in the usually controlled voice of Miranda Lawson snapped the thought away. Shepard turned her gaze towards her as the woman moved through the empty space with ease. She swung her omni tool in a wide circle as she probed the area for any data that could give them an idea of what had occurred. She was too far away for Shepard to see the readouts, but the look on her face said everything. 

They weren’t going to find anyone. 

“No life forms. No extraneous DNA. Same as the others.”

With a deep sigh, she flicked the omni off and scanned the room with her eyes. Shepard could feel her thinking from across the room. 

“Maybe it is human slavers after all.”

Jacob’s deep voice cut through the air. Miranda merely cocked her head towards him as he looked around the room.

“It’d explain the lack of foreign DNA.”

Miranda shook her head and took three steps towards the far wall. She bent closer to its surface as if she could somehow will it to tell her what had happened. 

“No. That wouldn’t explain why the mechs attacked us. Even if it were human mercenaries, it’d be too risky in a populated colony to have them attack humans.”

Shepard watched as Jacob sighed and cast his eyes around the room again. “Another ghost town, then.”

“Why is it that you think human mercenaries did this?”

The hair on the back of her neck prickled as Shepard stepped towards the far end of the structure and looked out the window. 

“It’s standard talk from the Alliance and the Council.” 

Miranda closed the distance between them in a few strides to join her. The colony stretched before them, but there was no sign of battle. No bodies littered the ground. No blood. No structural damage from a firefight. 

“That doesn’t make any sense.”

Miranda shook her head. “Agreed, Commander. Trust me, we’re beyond frustrated by this. Something else is going on and the Alliance is turning a blind eye to it.”

Shepard could feel the sigh pressing on her at the suggestion. The Illusive Man had said that the Alliance had been too busy since humanity had gained a seat on the Council, but certainly neither of them could just ignore this happening over and over again. 

_Could they?_

It was a question that she desperately wanted answered. The Alliance had never betrayed her or humanity, she knew that. They had always been the _champion_ of humanity, no matter what Cerberus’s slogan was. Her family had dedicated their lives to the service as far back as she could remember. They had drilled training into her, turned her into the effective soldier and commander that she was. She had always been proud to serve and participate in the good they did on a daily basis. 

This? This wasn’t part of that. 

_Goddamnit. Don’t lose it now, Shepard. Cerberus can’t possibly be telling you the truth._

She could hear Jacob Taylor’s omni switch to life behind her, but she didn’t move from scanning the horizon. 

All of her training said that that this was a ploy to throw her off of something.

_They have me for a reason. I just have to stay grounded long enough to figure this out._

Even as the thought crossed her mind, Shepard could feel the doubt creep behind it. No matter what she may have known about the two organizations’ histories, the Alliance fundamentally had taught her _too_ well. 

The one truth that had gotten her through her N7 training was simple: Hold on too tightly to what you wanted to be true and you can overlook what actually is. 

Looking over the pristine, empty landscape before her, she couldn’t fathom what Cerberus would have to gain from lying about a situation like this. That meant she needed to keep an open mind. Blind allegiance either way was never the answer. 

The truth always dwelled in the middle. 

“Wait. I’m picking up life signs. They’re quarian.” 

Shepard spun at the words but Miranda was already across the room and bent over Taylor’s omni to survey the information herself. 

Surprise flashed across his features as he stared down at the readout. 

“They’re gone again. They must be shielded or being interfered with.”

Miranda’s blue eyes raised to lock with Shepard’s own in confusion.

“What the hell are the quarians doing on a human colony?” 

Shepard turned once again to gaze out the window; the fire of a lead burning in her gut as she stared at the small warehouse across the courtyard. If there was even a chance they knew what was going on, she’d take it. 

“Let’s go ask them.”

******************************

Miranda silently led the way up the steps outside of the warehouse where Jacob had caught the brief life signs. Raising her pistol level to her chest, she nodded at Shepard as she stepped to the side of the door. 

She could hear muffled voices from inside as she drew closer and she motioned for Miranda and Jacob to lower their weapons. The quarians had never been particularly aggressive towards humanity, but there was a hell of a stigma attached to them from humans, and Cerberus was notorious for its dislike of aliens.

She didn’t want this to become something needlessly because of prejudice. 

Miranda’s brow twitched for a moment as if she was about to question the order, but to Shepard’s amazement, she lowered her weapon without incident.

With a final nod to be ready, Shepard triggered the door. She had only a brief moment to take in the four quarians huddled around a screen in the middle of the room before one of them had leveled his weapon at her chest. 

“Stop right there!”

Shepard’s weapon was drawn and leading on him before he had taken two steps. 

“Prazza! You said you’d let me handle this!” 

For a moment, the voice almost didn’t register in her ears. Before she could react, the younger quarian was turning, arms outstretched. 

She froze as they came face to face.

“Wait... Shepard?!”

Shepard lowered her weapon immediately at the sound of disbelief in her friend’s voice, tossing one look to Miranda to demand the same. When she turned, the quarian was moving towards her slowly.

“Shepard? Is that you?”

Shepard felt the smile blossom across her face before she could stop it. Seeing the quarian was grounding in a way that left her reeling.

“Hey, Tali.”

The young quarian shook her head from side to side as she merely stared. Perhaps she was attempting to gage the situation. There had to be a shock of seeing Shepard with Cerberus operatives. She could at the very least tell her what the hell was happening here.

_And she’ll help me get the fuck away from Cerberus._

Shepard’s eyes darted to the quarians behind her as they continued to level their weapons at them. When she turned her gaze back to a still frozen Tali, she immediately felt a shift in the air. 

Something was wrong. Surely they had just seen each other... unless...

“Shepard? You’re...you’re alive?”

She could hear the awe in her friend’s voice and felt confusion and dread race across her senses. 

So, Tali thought she had been dead. 

Did that mean Cerberus _was_ telling her the truth? 

_Two years?_

Three weapons remained pointed at her as Tali stood waiting for an answer. She had no clue what was real at the moment, but she needed Tali to trust that it was her. 

She needed her friend. 

With her eyes darting back and forth between Tali and the marine closest to her, she held out an upturned hand in what she hoped was a placating manner. 

“Remember that geth data I gave you, Tali? Did it help you complete your pilgrimage?” 

Tali nodded wordlessly and then took two steps towards her. Before Shepard could understand the action, the quarian slammed into her and enveloped her in a fierce hug.

Tali had always been small compared to herself, but she wasn’t prepared for the sheer force of the action. She stumbled once before bracing herself on her back foot to absorb the gesture. 

As her arms automatically returned the hug, everything she had fought against believing so far came sharply into focus. 

She felt as if she had been dowsed in ice water.

If Tali was this emotional to see her, that could only mean Cerberus was telling the truth. Suddenly the niggling sensation she had been feeling since she woke up made complete sense. 

She felt numb as Tali pulled back to arm’s length and stared at her face. 

“Keelah. How is this possible?”

How was her training supposed to prepare her for this? Nausea settled on her stomach at the implications, but she pushed it down. She needed answers. 

“Well, I’m just catc...”

Her words were forcefully cut off as the younger woman enveloped her once more. Shepard indulged the action for a few more moments, relishing the way that the familiarity of her friend chased the growing dread at the realization of her situation away, but there were guns still pointed at her.

“You have no idea how good it is to see you, Tali, and trust me, I’ll explain everything to the best of my ability, but what’s going on here?”

As if she realized their surroundings suddenly, Tali pulled back abruptly and turned to her compatriots once more. When she saw the weapons still trained, she lunged. 

“Put your weapons down!”

She shoved the one she had called Prazza’s weapon down forcefully. The surprise was evident in his stance as he stumbled back, but he brought the weapon up again instantly. 

“I’m not taking any chances with Cerberus operatives.”

“I said put those weapons down! This is Commander Shepard!”

Prazza lowered his weapon slowly as he glanced back and forth between them. 

“Why is your old commander working for Cerberus?”

Tali’s words were slow as she turned her gaze back to them. “I don’t know, but I guarantee there’s a damn good explanation.”

Shepard’s heart swelled for the younger woman immediately. 

“I nearly died, Tali. Apparently Cerberus spent nearly two years rebuilding me. They want me to investigate the attacks on the human colonies.” 

Tali had turned fully to take her in as she spoke words she still couldn’t believe. Staring at her friend’s mask, she knew now was the time to rip the bandage off.

“Has it really been two years?”

As Tali nodded slowly, Shepard felt as though the air had been sucked from her lungs. 

“We watched the Normandy explode. Joker said...”

Shepard suddenly felt the weight of all eyes on her. The rest of this conversation needed to happen in private. 

“I know.”

Thankfully, time had not stopped the quarian from being able to understand her silent request.

Prazza bristled from behind Tali as he crossed his arms and scoffed. “Likely story. No organization would commit so many resources to bringing back one soldier.” 

Tali spun quickly to take in his stance. “You don’t know Shepard. It’s money well spent.” 

When she turned back, she nodded briefly to the two people behind Shepard. 

“And I’m very thankful.”

Before either could respond, Tali dropped her gaze back to Shepard. 

“Perhaps you can help us, Shepard. We’re here looking for a young quarian named Veetor. He was here on a pilgrimage.” 

Shepard could feel Miranda’s suspicion as she stepped forward. 

“Isn’t that a little strange? A quarian visiting a remote human colony?”

Tali’s gaze jerked to her quickly. Shepard watched as the woman who previously would have flinched from a tone such as that, seemed to stand another two inches taller. 

“Quarians can choose where they go on pilgrimage. Veetor liked the idea of helping a small settlement. He was always nervous in crowds.”

Prazza scoffed once more behind her. 

“She means he was unstable. Combine that with damage to his suit’s CO2 scrubbers and an open air infection and he’s likely delirious.”

Tali nodded. “When he saw us landing, he hid in a warehouse on the far side of town. We suspect he also programmed the mechs to attack anything that moved because of his paranoia...and whatever happened here.” 

Shepard agreed. With what she knew about quarian exposure to open air, it was highly likely that he was terrified and getting worse by the minute. With a small nod, she turned to her team.

“Veetor’s the only one who can tell us what happened here. And if he’s sick, we need to team up and find him as quickly as possible.” 

Tali took a step towards the console they had previously been working around, fingers already moving across the keys in front of it. 

“Thanks, Shepard. We’ll need two teams to get past the rest of the drones anyway.”

Behind her, Prazza openly laughed in disbelief at the suggestion. With a quick step, he pushed roughly past Tali and pointed a finger harshly towards the trio. 

Shepard felt her blood boil as the smaller quarian stumbled from the force of his movement. 

“If you think I’m going to work for Cerberus...”

Shepard moved to step forward, but Tali was faster. With strength Shepard had rarely witnessed from her, she spun the marine around and pushed him forcefully back. 

He stumbled back two steps as she advanced on him. One finger prodded his chest hard as he stepped back another step. 

“You don’t work for Cerberus, Prazza. You work for _me_. If you can’t follow orders, then get back to the ship.” 

Shepard smiled as the marine snapped to attention and stepped back. Clearly Tali had come into her own. 

When she turned back, she was all business once more. Without hesitation, she pointed towards a side door. “Head for the warehouse through the center of the colony. We’ll circle on the far side and draw the attention of the drones to give you less resistance.”

Shepard nodded as Jacob and Miranda headed towards the door Tali had pointed out. She unholstered her weapon quickly as she moved towards Tali and opened her omni tool. 

“Sounds like a plan. Here’s my new info, keep in contact just in case there’s any trouble.” 

Tali transferred her data channel quickly as the quarian marines moved towards the far side of the room, checking their weapons as they advanced. When Shepard made a move towards the door where Jacob and Miranda waited, Tali’s hand on her forearm stopped her movements. 

“Shepard.”

Her voice was low and Shepard looked up into the faint glow of her eyes behind her face plate. She could see them flicker towards the Cerberus team on the opposite side of the room briefly before they returned to her own. 

“Be careful.”

Once more, Shepard’s chest constricted in warmth for her friend. She wanted to say so much, but instead she nodded one final time. 

“You, too.”

Tali searched her eyes for a moment longer before she turned and strolled to join the marines awaiting her orders. 

Jacob was bouncing on the balls of his feet when Shepard glanced his way, but Miranda’s eyes were piercing as she took her in. No doubt trying to read her emotional state. 

She had always hated the idea of being analyzed. Liara had only ever been the only one to remotely get away with it. 

The thought of the asari sent a pang of pain through her, but now wasn’t the time for that. 

With a sigh, she locked her thermal clip in hard as she stepped forward. There would be time to dissect all of that later. Right now, there was a job to do. 

Miranda’s blue eyes remained on her face as she stepped to the right side of the door.

“Let’s go.”

Without hesitation, the brunette leaned forward and punched the lock mechanism. The doors slid open to the cool stillness of the night. Somewhere in the darkness, the answers they needed waited. 

*****************************

The Collectors. 

That’s who they were tracking. They were the ones responsible for taking the humans from colonies across the Terminus systems. 

Shepard’s mind raced with the information as she paced around the small control room that Veetor had holed up in. 

It had taken another hour to clear the compound and reach the warehouse on the far side once they had left Tali and the others. Tali’s plan had worked perfectly until Prazza had questioned her orders again and stepped in front of a large mech. 

_What a damn waste._

But if the Collectors were working with the Reapers... things could be a hell of a lot worse than she’d even thought when she’d first woke up. Their methods were ingenious. Their seeker swarms raced through the colony immobilizing everyone without a fight. They waltzed through and carried away paralyzed victims without a single bullet being fired. 

If the Reapers were to utilize that technology, they wouldn’t even have a chance to fight them. 

But now she had proof. 

Incontrovertible proof that neither the Alliance nor the Council could ignore. They’d have to listen.

Miranda hadn’t liked the notion of turning the injured Veetor over to the quarians instead of questioning him further, but Shepard didn’t care. She may be working with Cerberus right now, but she wasn’t going to lose her compassion. They didn’t need the injured quarian anyway, just his data. 

Tali had sent him off with the remaining member of her team and Miranda had insisted on informing the Illusive Man straight away of the findings. Now that they had the information they needed, she had been insistent that they leave immediately. She and Jacob had returned to the shuttle begrudgingly only after Shepard had demanded a few minutes to speak to Tali alone.

“Keelah. I’m glad you’re the one giving the orders.”

Tali’s voice was hard as the doors closed behind Miranda. 

The disagreement had been swift, but even she could feel the tension beneath the surface. Fundamentally, Shepard knew that their approaches were completely different. Experience told her that sooner or later, it was going to come to a head. 

When and how was still to be seen. 

Veetor’s screens beeped behind them, but devoid of the adrenaline of the earlier mission, all Shepard could focus on was the harsh reality before her. 

She had been gone for two years. 

Shepard braced her hands on a nearby wooden supply crate and sagged her body weight onto her arms. Normally, she wouldn’t allow her emotions to play out before anyone, but the circumstances warranted it. Tali stepped into her view slowly, but allowed the silence to hang between them. 

It was Shepard who broke it. 

“Two years.”

How the hell was someone supposed to cope with that? It was a seemingly unfathomable notion. 

Almost as if she had read her mind, Tali spoke up. 

“I can’t even imagine what you must be feeling, Shepard.”

Shepard shook her head slowly and fought the disbelieving laugh that threatened to escape. She couldn’t really imagine it either, but she had no choice. 

She could see Tali fidgeting back and forth slightly and Shepard felt a warmth at the familiarity of the action. It seemed that not everything had changed since she had been gone. She hoped that was true elsewhere, too. 

When she glanced up fully, Tali was staring at her. Her voice had lost its earlier edge when she finally spoke. 

“I never thought I’d ever see you again. I thought...”

There was a sadness there and Shepard dropped her head at the sound of it. She had known that Tali had harbored a crush on her while aboard the Normandy. She had always dismissed it as a young first crush, but the sadness held there now spoke volumes to a deeper pain.

It sent guilt racing through her even though she hadn’t technically done anything. If she couldn’t face Tali’s heartache, how they hell was she going to face Liara’s? 

She kept her eyes trained on the wooden crate below her when the thought forced its way into her mind. She knew she couldn’t see Tali’s expression, but somehow, she couldn’t bring herself to face that emotion head on.

“I wasn’t conscious, Tali. I swear.”

She waited for the disbelief at the words to come. She wasn’t sure why. Tali had shown nothing but support.

She couldn’t shake the feeling of nervous dread, though. A dread that she knew nothing to do with her friend. 

Tali’s hand was warm against her arm as the quarian squeezed it. 

“I believe you, Shepard. It’s just...”

The gasp that she let out was so loud and unexpected that Shepard’s snapped her head up. Her hand was halfway to her gun, half expecting to see a Collector standing with them, before she realized they were still alone. 

Tali held one hand to her mask as she stared at Shepard. 

“Keelah. Have you talked to Liara?”

And there it was. 

Shepard had tried to fight off thoughts of her asari lover since waking up. She desperately wanted to see Liara, but she was also incredibly nervous at the prospect. 

Tali had been very understanding, but she didn’t share the relationship that Shepard had with Liara. She hadn’t been involved when Liara had expressed misgivings about even beginning their relationship in the first place. 

And now, after working through that; after two years she was just going to show up?

She had no idea how the asari would react. If she’d even believe that she was telling the truth about Cerberus.

How could she? 

_Hey, Liara, I was pretty dead, I swear. They rebuilt me, but I swear it’s actually me._

Would she tell her that she was too late? Would she welcome her back openly like Tali had done? Had she moved on? Would she decide that she had been right to be so uncertain before?

The thoughts raced unbidden through her mind now that the subject had been breached by someone else. 

Finally, Shepard shook her head. Maybe Tali could at least give her an idea of what she was walking into. 

“Not yet, no. You’re the first person I’ve seen.” 

The quarian remained quiet for a moment as she seemingly processed the information. Finally she shook her head.

“She’s going to be so... I don’t think I even know a word strong enough.”

Relief flooded her as Shepard stared at her friend. 

“You think?”

She hadn’t actually meant to voice that thoughts. She had always been notoriously closed with her personal life, but it wasn’t like this was a normal situation.

Tali’s attention snapped to her former commander immediately. She could clearly see the questions running across Shepard’s face even as she fought to still them. 

“What makes you say that?”

With a half shrug of her shoulder, Shepard scratched the back of her head roughly. Talking about her feelings had never been her strong suit. 

_Even with Liara._

“It’s... I don’t know.”

Before the quarian could respond, a message flashed on her omni tool and drug her attention down. Shepard watched as she read it quickly and typed her response. 

“That’s Stuni. Veetor is safely on the shuttle and the Flotilla is waiting for our departure.”

Duty called. Shepard knew better than anyone that meant their conversation was over. 

When Tali caught her gaze again, she sighed. “What are you going to do?”

That was the million dollar question. 

“Tell the Alliance and the Council. Present them with the evidence and see what happens.”

Tali nodded. “And if they follow history and don’t listen?”

She had been pushing the implications of that from her mind. With a deep sigh, Shepard shook her head.

“I’m not sure.”

Tali nodded in understanding once. Shepard watched as she twisted her hands together quickly in a gesture that she had seen her do many times before. It had always meant she was nervous. 

“Look, Shepard. I want you to be safe. Things aren’t what you remember.”

She couldn’t stop the disbelieving laugh this time. 

“You could say that again.”

“The Alliance hasn’t been taking these abductions seriously. The Council dismissed your warnings about the Reapers... they painted you as ... well... insane.”

Shepard felt her eyebrows disappear into her hairline at the information. Of all the things she had expected from the Council...

“Well, that’s... something.”

Tali began a slow trek towards the control room door and Shepard fell into step beside her. 

“It’s very weird. I’m not sure I can give you more information, but Liara surely can. Last I heard she was working on Ilium I think?”

Shepard pulled up short at the confession. Tali took two further steps before she realized the redhead wasn’t in step with her again. When she turned, Shepard’s brows were knitted. 

“Wait. You haven’t talked to her?”

She couldn’t see the expression on the quarian’s face, but she could hear the guilt and anger in her tone. 

“Like I said... it’s been two years. Things aren’t like you may remember.”

_What the hell does that mean?_

“I’ve got to go.”

With a final glance at the door, Tali stepped forward and threw her arms around her once more. 

Shepard folded into the brief embrace easily even as her friend’s words raced through her mind.

“I’m not trying to be cryptic. Just promise me you’ll be careful. And that you’ll stay in touch?” 

When Tali pulled back and stared expectantly at her, Shepard nodded. With a final squeeze of her shoulders, the quarian turned to the doors and was gone. 

Shepard watched the doors as they slid closed behind her before she took a deep breath. 

She had to see Liara.


End file.
